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DEATH, DIVORCE & MOVING are the three most stressful experiences in
life. There are two very different kinds of needs that people have
while moving. First there are the transactional needs, like
finding the home that is just right for you, finding a seller who is
realistic, negotiating the price, filling out the paperwork, handling
the escrow, and arranging for the move. But there are also
emotional needs that are involved when moving, and this is where the
biggest stress comes in. Any competent agent can handle the
transactional needs for you, but if your emotional needs are
unfulfilled, you'll be frustrated and may not act in your own best
interests. The ideal real estate Broker is one, who is competent with
paperwork and numbers, but can also guide, direct, and counsel you
through the emotional ups and downs of moving. Here are the six best
ways I've found to help you beat the stress:
1. Begin with the end in mind. Have an
ultimate scenario of where you're trying to be. What will life
be like when you get there? How will it be better than where you are
now? Dwell on that picture and write it out, fill up at least a
page about how it feels in the new place. This is imperative.
Having the goal in front of you at all times energizes you to achieve
it, in spite of setbacks and frustrations. Emotions will run high and
you need an anchor. In childbirth, the Lamaze method teaches you to
focus on one spot when enduring labor pains. In the Bible it
says that Jesus willingly went to the cross by focusing on the joy He
would have when it was over. In the same way, you too must focus on
that future goal when anxiety threatens to get the better of you.
2. Be flexible. In your monetary
calculations, overestimate by a thousand dollars. In this market,
anything can happen between contract acceptance and closing. It
could be the inspections reveal areas of concern that the seller is
unwilling to fix or the repair costs are higher than the amount
limited in the contract. Or the interest rate changes which
affects the necessary down payment and closing costs you will need to
come up with. As your real estate team, we will strive to tie up loose
ends as quickly as possible, but remember there is no perfect world.
Most buyers feel a bit overwhelmed when taking on a new mortgage and
the responsibilities of a new home and we've seen many buyers get
angry when it seems like the cost just keeps going up. Anger is
caused when reality doesn't match up with the expectations you had in
your mind. So if you anticipate this happening in advance, you
won't get angry. In fact, it'll probably go better than you
expected.
3. Trust in the process. There's just so
much to do, it's easy to panic. You wonder if it will ever work
out. In fact, when we bought our house, we couldn't eat for a day, we
felt sick to our stomachs! You think you're taking a big chance, but
the truth is you're giving yourself a big chance. Even though
you can't see every step of the way, as you move towards your goals,
the way opens up. I know that you haven't moved in awhile
and it's a major upheaval in your life.
But I've been there many times before, and we'll be
looking out for you. Trust that I know the way to get you
there.
4. Get knowledge. One thing you'll
probably feel during this transition time is being out of control. It
feels like everyone else has taken over your life. The seller, your
lender, the appraiser, the inspectors, they all have the power to say
yes or no to your moving plans. We'll try our best to let you know
ahead of time what your expenses will be, and what the unknowns are.
We'll tie down the loose ends as soon as possible. We'll try to get
your loan approved within a reasonable time frame. We'll educate you
as best we can and let you in "behind the scenes" so you won't ever
feel stupid or out of control.
5. What is your option? When things
don't go as smoothly as you had hoped, don't let emotions take over.
Always ask yourself "What is my option?" because there are always
options. Let's pretend the lender takes longer than agreed upon
to get your loan. He keeps asking you for more and more
documentation until if feels like he also needs to know how many gold
fillings you have in your mouth! You'll feel upset because you
wanted to feel certain about the move and now you still have to live
with the uncertainty. You want to say "Forget it, I'm fed up
with this!" But what is your option? Find a new lender and
start the process over again? That may take weeks, plus you will have
to provide all the paperwork over again. If the lender is trying his
best, it may be better to give him a few more days. Each case is
unique, but when setbacks occur we've found that asking yourself this
question helps to defuse the situation and restore clearheaded
thinking.
6. Seek entertainment. When there's
nothing you can do about the situation, take your mind off of it
altogether. Maybe you expected loan approval on Friday, but now
it won't come until Monday. You hate being in limbo and feeling
powerless. So do something else entirely, maybe something where
you aren't powerless. Take a hike, play tennis, get out of town
for the day. Watch a movie, pray, or pour yourself into your work.
Whatever diversion works best for you, now would be a good time to
engage in it. Just forget the situation and refuse to listen to
those irritating thoughts when they come into your head. Think
about something else instead and just take it one day at a time.
To keep stress to a minimum, here's how I'll serve you when you work
with me in buying your new home: Give my best-reasoned expert counsel
and advice with your best interests in mind. Clarify your goals
and motivation, and decide if moving is the wisest choice at this
time. Provide recommendations and information to help your kids
through all the changes. Negotiate effectively for you to get
the lowest possible price for your new home. Treat your money
like it was my own, shaving every expense possible. Protect your
interests during escrow, keeping a detailed record of the transaction.
Be your levelheaded sounding board or relief valve when the stress is
overwhelming. Counsel you through the feelings of "buyer's
remorse". Alert you ahead of time to every possibility so you feel
more in control. Contact you daily during the last 10 days of
the transaction to serve your needs. Provide guidance and help
with movers, change of address, utilities shut off, cleaning, etc.
Deliver your closing paperwork. Continue to give you information
of value after the transaction...for life.
I have other tips to help you beat the stress when selling...don't
hesitate to email me at
rod@rodusa.com or call me directly at: 435-668-7885.
Service to you, is important to me!
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